Officially started
I have been trying to "sort things out" for years. I go the charity shop on a regular basis. The older kids as they move out are actually quite good at managing their stuff. My house is full of STUFF. I cannot really blame anybody else anymore.
This past week was half term. I booked the Wee One on an activity which meant she was out of the house for a couple hours each day throughout the week and I thought I would get started. But where. It is all too much. We have three rooms in our house which are basically unusable. The third is the bedroom of the Meister who moved out at the end of last year. I had plans for that room. And it just joined the ranks of the others junk rooms.
Part of the problem is time. We are busy. We never have the time to do this. Part of it is storage. We didn't have any money to spend on furniture when we bought this house nearly 24 years ago. WE have accumulated other people's cast offs and things from Freecycle and some random IKEA bits which were not necessarily the miracle storage makers we had envisioned. And of course, the main problem is just too much stuff.
I have spent my life saving things in case they come in handy. I have saved research and magazines and essays I have written in the hopes that one day I will actually do that PhD. I have saved clothes for the next child. Resources for the next home ed endeavour. So much yarn waiting for me to make it into something or use it for craft projects. And I didn't want to be wasteful because throwing away stuff is problematic for me.
I think I have realized that things can be wasteful regardless of their location. They are a waste in my house. Taking them to the tip doesn't change that - it just means I feel a bit better in my house and can try to not be wasteful in the future.
6 bags of rubbish have gone to the tip. Along with enough stuff to fill another 5 bags, as it was old mouldy curtains, irreparable tents, smeggy duvets and pillows. All kept in case they might come in handy. They never did.
Numerous cables and wires that may come in handy? Gone.
Yarn and fabric scraps? Gone.
Time Magazines that I used for the MA? Gone.
Rolling Stones Magazines from the 80s that I hd to keep because they had my fave band in? Gone.
Tent outers with holes in them but the fabric might be useful one day? Gone.
Cards and letters from the Children? KEPT! :-) We smiled a lot looking at some stuff.
I also cried a lot.
I had friends helping and offering to help. Which made me feel nice.
The loft room (junk room number 2) started out looking like this.
My husband Al got the single bed out and put it in the Meister's old room so we could have some space in which to work. Then I emptied shelves in the study (aka junk room number 1) and after getting rid of loads of books, moved the two bookcases upstairs to the loft room. Then this sorting started.
I sat and looked at it all for a while. I spent some time online looking at decluttering sites and the best advice I saw was just to get started. It doesn't really matter where you start. But starting gets you going. I would have to take a break every once in a while and I often just stood up and looked around me in dismay, but actually doing something mostly led onto doing something else.
And then on Saturday, the wonderful Big Brother took care of the Wee One from 11 am to 5 pm and we got down to business. We mostly did the 4 box method. Charity shop/ bin/ keep/ recycle/give to specific person. More of a 5 box or pile system for us but it worked. :)
8 bags/boxes and a table have gone to Charity shops. I went to the my favourite one the first couple of times, but it was getting embarrassing, so the British Red Cross got some stuff too. :) Stuff that I had actually sorted out to give away years ago, baby clothes, Scout and Guide uniforms, etc was still there waiting for me to find somebody I wanted to give it to. They have just gone to the charity shop now.
Some big stuff needs selling and I am not good at that. But working on it.
All of the stuff did have meaning for me. It is all memories. Which is where the crying came in. Sometimes I cried because I was sad that things had gotten this bad. Sometimes I cried because I was just soooo tired. Sometimes it was because letting go of stuff is also letting go of dreams. Of expectations. Of plans. I am probably never going to get around to doing that PhD. I am never going to finish those craft projects. I am never going to travel to those countries I have books and maps about. I am not going to do all of the things I thought I would do.
I don't know where to go with these thoughts at the moment. But I do know I felt better sitting in the loft room, knowing that the couple of boxes left to sort out seems doable. That we can access the books and yarn and craft things that are still there. That I still have a tower of boxes full of memories and photos.
The next room seems doable. It will take weeks, if not months. And then years for us to work on this house. There is plaster needed and maintenance needed. But at the moment builders couldn't even get in! So the rest of the year is going to be about letting go for me. And we have made a good start.
Junk room number 2 now looks like this!
This past week was half term. I booked the Wee One on an activity which meant she was out of the house for a couple hours each day throughout the week and I thought I would get started. But where. It is all too much. We have three rooms in our house which are basically unusable. The third is the bedroom of the Meister who moved out at the end of last year. I had plans for that room. And it just joined the ranks of the others junk rooms.
Part of the problem is time. We are busy. We never have the time to do this. Part of it is storage. We didn't have any money to spend on furniture when we bought this house nearly 24 years ago. WE have accumulated other people's cast offs and things from Freecycle and some random IKEA bits which were not necessarily the miracle storage makers we had envisioned. And of course, the main problem is just too much stuff.
I have spent my life saving things in case they come in handy. I have saved research and magazines and essays I have written in the hopes that one day I will actually do that PhD. I have saved clothes for the next child. Resources for the next home ed endeavour. So much yarn waiting for me to make it into something or use it for craft projects. And I didn't want to be wasteful because throwing away stuff is problematic for me.
I think I have realized that things can be wasteful regardless of their location. They are a waste in my house. Taking them to the tip doesn't change that - it just means I feel a bit better in my house and can try to not be wasteful in the future.
6 bags of rubbish have gone to the tip. Along with enough stuff to fill another 5 bags, as it was old mouldy curtains, irreparable tents, smeggy duvets and pillows. All kept in case they might come in handy. They never did.
Numerous cables and wires that may come in handy? Gone.
Yarn and fabric scraps? Gone.
Time Magazines that I used for the MA? Gone.
Rolling Stones Magazines from the 80s that I hd to keep because they had my fave band in? Gone.
Tent outers with holes in them but the fabric might be useful one day? Gone.
Cards and letters from the Children? KEPT! :-) We smiled a lot looking at some stuff.
I also cried a lot.
I had friends helping and offering to help. Which made me feel nice.
The loft room (junk room number 2) started out looking like this.
My husband Al got the single bed out and put it in the Meister's old room so we could have some space in which to work. Then I emptied shelves in the study (aka junk room number 1) and after getting rid of loads of books, moved the two bookcases upstairs to the loft room. Then this sorting started.
I sat and looked at it all for a while. I spent some time online looking at decluttering sites and the best advice I saw was just to get started. It doesn't really matter where you start. But starting gets you going. I would have to take a break every once in a while and I often just stood up and looked around me in dismay, but actually doing something mostly led onto doing something else.
And then on Saturday, the wonderful Big Brother took care of the Wee One from 11 am to 5 pm and we got down to business. We mostly did the 4 box method. Charity shop/ bin/ keep/ recycle/give to specific person. More of a 5 box or pile system for us but it worked. :)
8 bags/boxes and a table have gone to Charity shops. I went to the my favourite one the first couple of times, but it was getting embarrassing, so the British Red Cross got some stuff too. :) Stuff that I had actually sorted out to give away years ago, baby clothes, Scout and Guide uniforms, etc was still there waiting for me to find somebody I wanted to give it to. They have just gone to the charity shop now.
Some big stuff needs selling and I am not good at that. But working on it.
All of the stuff did have meaning for me. It is all memories. Which is where the crying came in. Sometimes I cried because I was sad that things had gotten this bad. Sometimes I cried because I was just soooo tired. Sometimes it was because letting go of stuff is also letting go of dreams. Of expectations. Of plans. I am probably never going to get around to doing that PhD. I am never going to finish those craft projects. I am never going to travel to those countries I have books and maps about. I am not going to do all of the things I thought I would do.
I don't know where to go with these thoughts at the moment. But I do know I felt better sitting in the loft room, knowing that the couple of boxes left to sort out seems doable. That we can access the books and yarn and craft things that are still there. That I still have a tower of boxes full of memories and photos.
The next room seems doable. It will take weeks, if not months. And then years for us to work on this house. There is plaster needed and maintenance needed. But at the moment builders couldn't even get in! So the rest of the year is going to be about letting go for me. And we have made a good start.
Junk room number 2 now looks like this!
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